Oh The Irony
by Autore Raita
Summary: He was tired. Emotionally and physically at the way his guardians acted. But they were his precious friends. How could he leave them alone? Oh the irony when they, left him alone themselves. But perhaps.. It was a chance for him to find himself.. 27OC
1. Chapter 1 : The Start of Everything

"_They__ wondered when it began. The time when he had started to slip out of their fingers when they were supposed to keep him close by their sides."_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - The Start of Everything.<strong>

_"Eh? Occult.. Club?"_

_"Hai.. I joined it in a spur of moment the instant I found out that we had one ..." Gokudera mumbled, hanging his head shamefully "I'm sorry for acting on my ow__n.. Jyuudaime..."_

_Tsuna was surprised yet pleased. Frankly speaking, he didn't know what an Occult Club was supposed to be. But if it made Gokudera that excited about it, then he guessed that it was probably really fun. "Really? I'm really glad for you, Gokudera-kun!"_

_Gokudera stared at him, awe-struck, "G-glad?_

_Smiling brightly, he nodded "Un!"_

_"B-but, I'll become really busy from now onwards! I won't even b-be able to walk you home! A-and, I won't be able to help Jyuudaime in his studies much!" rambled on, panicking before it struck him. _

_He fell to the floor, kneeling as he clutched his head in deep remorse and he yelled out "I can't believe I did such a thing! I'm unworthy to be one of Jyuudaime's guardian!"_

_"T-that's not true!" Tsuna sputtered out "Gokudera-kun is an important friend to me!"_

_"Jyuudaime.." Gokudera processed the his words for a few seconds before staring up at him in shock. He had always been content with being Tsuna's right-hand man. But, sometimes, when he saw Tsuna with Yamamoto, he couldn't help but feel envy of the baseball freak.(As much as he hated it)_

_He knew that to Tsuna, that idiot was an important friend. He would have never thought of being treated as a friend like Yamamoto by Tsuna. It was far too much of an honor for him._

_"Oi! Gokudera! Stop wasting time already! club activities are starting soon!" The group had been waiting for him patiently and finally snapped as one of them yelled to him "We're gonna leave without you!"_

_"Shut up! I'm talking to Jyuudaime now!" Gokudera snarled at them, snapping out of his thoughts._

_However, Tsuna could sense a hint of poorly concealed panic in his voice. _

_Turning back to Tsuna, Gokudera gave him glanced at him hesitantly, as though he was a kid asking for permission to ice-cream._

_Smiling reassuringly, Tsuna gave him a encouraging nod "Go. I'll be fine on my own."_

_Gokudera looked as though he was about to protest when Tsuna sent him another smile, a firm one "Gokudera-kun. I'll be alright. I managed to defeat Byakuran on my own didn't I? I can get back home by myself safely."_

_Gokudera seemed to weakened a little. Taking the chance, Tsuna quickly gave him a small light push on the back, his smile unfaltering "Go."_

_Relenting, Gokudera gave him one last hesitant look before bowing down, full 90 degrees "Gomenasai! Jyuudaime! I'll be sure to make up to you later!"_

_With that, he joined the group, walking towards the club room whilst turning back and sending Tsuna worried looks._

_All the while, Tsuna's smile remained there, encouraging him. _

_Deep within , he suppressed a depressed sigh, knowing fully well that his friend was just doing what he liked. _

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><p><em>"Eh? Gokudera did?"<em>

_Tsuna squinted a little at the look on Yamamoto's face. He seemed a surprised, but more then that, he seemed appalled by the news. _

_Looking concerned, Tsuna asked "Yamamoto.. Are you alright?"_

_"Huh? Y-yeah.. I'm alright!" Yamamoto seemed to snap out of whatever he was in a gave his usual grin. Tsuna wondered why though, that he as though he was seemed reluctant to tell him something... _

_"Yamamoto.. You can tell me anything you know?" Tsuna smiled at him. The smile that he used for Gokudera. The same smile was reserved only for them. **His Guardians.**_

_Giving a smile of exasperation, Yamamoto grinned at his best friend "I can never hide anything from you, Tsuna."_

_Tsuna only smiled at that statement as he waited for Yamamoto to speak again._

_Scratching the back of his head awkwardly as he begun, "Well.. How do I say this? Remember how I said that the summer baseball matches are coming up?" _

_Tsuna nodded, distinctly remembered Yamamoto explaining to him during lunch about it. Apparently, summer was the baseball season. They would be having matches with other schools almost every week. Some sort of experience gaining training._

_With the help of his hyper intuition, what Yamamoto said clicked together._

_"Umm.. Are you referring to your baseball trainings?" Tsuna inquired. The apologetic look that rose in the baseball player's eyes confirmed Tsuna's suspicions. Tsuna smiled at Yamamoto "Its alright. I understand. Its a very important time for you isn't it? You don't have to worry about me." _

_A relieved smile replaced his worried looking eyes almost instantly. Yamamoto slung his arm over Tsuna's shoulder "Thanks! Tsuna! I'll make it up to you after this definitely!"_

_Shaking his head, Tsuna smiled "Its alright. Shouldn't you leave for practice now?" _

_"Yeah" Yamamoto grinned in excitement. He gave Tsuna another apologetic smile before he rushed off._

_Tsuna sighed a little before forcing a himself to smile._

_But somewhere, his heart throbbed. He felt a sense of loneliness wash over idea of not having Gokudera around him as often had caught him off guard. He had never thought about how he would felt without him. But he had a feeling he was going to find out soon. And it scared him. Alot._

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><p><em>"Sorry Jyuudaime! I won't be able to walk home with you either..."<em>

"I-its okay.. Have fun.."

_"Sorry, Tsuna!"_

"I-its okay, Yamamoto. Remember not to push yourself too hard."

_"I'm really sorry! Jyuudaime!"_

_"Hahaha! I got it, Tsuna"_

_**"We'll definitely make it up to you!"**  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>"Recently, don't you think that Yamamoto-kun and Gokudera-kun aren't as close to Dame-Tsuna as they usually are?"<em>

_"I know right? Looks like their not under Dame-Tsuna's spell anymore"_

_"I'm so glad! I was soo afraid of Yamamoto-sama being led astray by Dame-Tsuna!"_

_"Exactly!"_

_Kyoko sent a worried look towards the brunette who remained in his seat. Cradling his head in his arms on the table, he tuned out the painful words being repeated over and over again. _

_"Hey, Kyoyo, what the heck's wrong with Dame-Tsuna? One day he was all buddy-buddy with the two idiots and the next he's back to being a loner again. Did something happen?" Hana asked, eyebrows raised from curiosity._

_Kyoko's gaze remained on Tsuna's back view "I don't know.."_

_"What about your idiotic brother?" Hana inquired._

_Kyoko shook her head helplessly, "Recently, Onii-chan barely even talks to Tsuna-kun anymore. He used to tell me about what Tsuna-kun did each day and how 'extreme' he thought he was. But, nowadays... I think its because of the sports season coming up, but truth to be told..."_

_"Hmm.." Hana hummed nonchalantly before giving a small uncaring shrug "Don't worry that much. They'll eventually get over it. They are a bunch of idiots after all. Come on, lets go for lunch."_

_Kyoko bit her lip slightly before giving Tsuna one last glance. She turned towards the classroom door, whispering "I hope so..."_

* * *

><p><em>Tsuna panted as he clutched his knees breathlessly by the gates.<em>

_This was probably the worst day of his life. His alarms clock had been out of batteries. He was late. And Hibari was definitely going to bite him to death!_

_He wasn't usually this afraid. Yamamoto and Gokudera was always by his side whenever it happened. But.. recently, they'd completely stopped to even walk to school with him. He knew it wasn't their fault for being busy. _

_But it didn't mean that their actions hadn't hurt him like hell. _

_He blinked as wind rushed towards him and HII-ed loudly the instant a pair of metal tonfas stopped by his eyes._

_Backing away , he waved his hands up and down in panic, trying to bat away the metal tonfas._

_Hibari Kyouya gave him a scruntinizing gaze, "Sawada Tsunayoshi.. No, Herbivore.."_

_Tsuna's eyes widened at the title. He hadn't noticed when Hibari had begun calling him by his name, but being called herbivore again sent pain waves straight into his chest._

_Withrawing his tonfas, Hibari turned and walked away, muttering "You've grown weaker.. You no longer interest me."_

_Tsuna clenched his fist tightly, willing the tears that were threatening to fall away._

* * *

><p><em>Tsuna smiled at the tickets in his hands. He was well aware of the fact that his friends had been drifting away from him for the past two weeks. But he believe that they hadn't meant it. It was only temporary. As long as they spent some time together , things would definitely go back to normal.<em>

_Peering into the classroom, he stared in surprise at his friends. Gokudera, Yamamoto and Ryohei.. _

_'When..did they become so close?' the thought pierced through his heart painfully. Even without him.. his friends were still close.. In fact, they had grown closer the instant they drifted away from him._

_'Its okay! We'll be back to normal soon!' Tsuna shook his head hard, trying to take away the negative thoughts from his head. Looking determined, he approached towards his guardians._

_"Yamamoto, Gokudera-kun, Onii-san" Tsuna began with a bright smile. The smile he had always given to them. _

_His friends turned to him in surprise "Tsuna/Sawada/Jyuudaime!"_

_He's smile widened a little. He had missed hearing their voices alot._

_"What are talking about?" he asked curiously, eyes shining in anticipation to be able to spend time with them._

_"Ah, we're having a inter-club trip next week! Everyone's looking forward to it!" Yamamoto grinned. Tsuna's smiled faltered just a little as he clutched the tickets tightly._

_"Jyuudaime? Is there something wrong?" Gokudera questioned, noticing his lack of reply._

_"No.. I was just wondering if you guys wanted to hangout after school.." Tsuna began hesitantly. He felt his confidence slipping away. _

_Surprised flashed passed their faces before it was replaced by a apologetic look._

_"Gomen.. but, we have club activities today.." Yamamoto said, sounding sincerely sorry. _

_"I'm sorry! Jyuudaime! We'll make it up to you another day!" Gokudera said almost instantly, desperately trying to erase the pained look on Tsuna's face._

_"EXTREMELY!"_

_Make it..up to him?_

_**"Will you?"**_

_They froze at the bitter voice. Was this... really their Tsuna? The Tsuna they knew would always speak to them with kindness, trust and most importantly, acceptance, just like the sky he was. _

_Tsuna unclenched his fist and clenched it again, dropping the tickets to the floor. _

_He looked up at them and forced out a smile "I got it. I have to go now. I promised mom to go grocery shopping with her. Have fun during your trip."_

_Taken aback by the hurt and betrayal in Tsuna's eyes, they could only watch as he turned and walked out of the classroom._

_They were losing something important to them. And they weren't realizing it._

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><p>AN : I know my writing skills aren't very good but I'll be really happy if you could leave a review. It'll really make my day! Suggestions will definitely be considered! If you have any ideas, you can leave a review or PM me! Either way, I'll be really happy!

The next update will be soon!

Ciao!


	2. Chapter 2 : Their Promise

_"They had forgotten that they were not fighting for the sake of fighting; but rather, it was for the promise that they were going to share the fun times together after the fight."_

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 : Their Promise<strong>

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><p><em>~One week later, Somewhere among trees and mountains~<em>

_"Gokudera? What's wrong?" Yamamoto asked, confused by the frown on Gokudera's face. _

_Scowling, Gokudera shoved his phone right in front of Yamamoto face. _

_'To all Guardians of Sawada Tsunayoshi,_

_I have left for Italy to help the Ninth for three weeks by now by now. If by any chance that when I return and find out that none of you have been doing your job as the guardians, you will have the time of your life being my shooting targets.(Smirk)_

_Be sure to tell Tsuna that the same thing goes for him if his grades were to drop._

_Reborn.'_

_Yamamoto frowned, confused, "The kid left? I don't remember Tsuna mentioning__ that.."_

_Shoving the phone back into his pocket, Gokudera scowled even deeper "That's the problem! Why didn't Jyuudaime tell us such an important thing? We should never have came on this stupid trip! What if Jyuudaime gets attacked?"_

_Chuckling at how agitated he was becoming, Yamamoto slung an arm across his shoulder, "Maa, maa,__Tsuna will be fine!"_

_Gokudera glared at him. He tried to shrug his arm away but was unable to do so, "And how do you know that? You baseball idiot!"_

_Grinning as though it was the obvious, Yamamoto showed him a thumbs up, "Because Tsuna is really strong!"_

_Faltering, Gokudera opened his mouth to rebut but was interrupted by Yamamoto, "Come on! Did you forget we were going to start the summoning alien or whatever thingy activity already?"_

_Instantly forgetting about his previous thoughts, Gokudera's eyes sparkled as he grabbed Yamamoto and sped through the forest "Oh shit! Shut up and move your feet now! You baseball freak!"_

_As they left, Gokudera's phone fell onto the ground as a little message box popped up._

_'Hayato,_

_Something's wrong with Tsuna recently._

_Where on earth are you?_

_Bianchi.'_

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><p>"Tsuna? Are you going out?"<p>

With a small shuffling sound, Tsuna stood up from the doorstep and gave his orange converse a small tap against the floor, making sure it was a proper fit. He turned around smiled at the pink-haired assassin standing by the hallway "Yeah... Just for a while.."

Bianchi narrowed her eyes at the hidden emotions in his eyes. Loneliness, fear and pain.. However, instead of pointing it out, she handed him a small packaging.

"Its cookies. Maman told me to pass this to you. Bring them with you" she spoke in an commanding way, as though saying 'You better eat them or else'. The entire Sawada Family had been worried sick about him. In the past two weeks, Tsuna's appetite had became lesser and lesser to the point where he barely touched his food. No matter what Nana had cooked, even when it came to his favourites, the brunette could only bring himself to take a few bites before he would excuse himself from the table.

It was obvious that something was bothering him. That boy was as easy to read as an open book.

Despite so, Tsuna had seemed so desperate to keep it from them. Forcing himself to smile, as though nothing had happened. His efforts probably only had one reason. He didn't want anyone to worry for him. Especially not after his father finally retired from CEDEF and could spend time with his mother.

After seeing that, they couldn't possibly bring themselves to confront the boy about his worries.

Nana was especially worried about him. Iemitsu then beamed brightly at Nana and announced to her that it was time for them to have a 'talk' with their son.

Bianchi had scoffed at him, not buying his crap.

During the talk, Iemitsu had proceeded to retell Tsuna about the stories of how cute he was when he was five and how he used to think of his father as a superhero. He then arrogantly patted his fist against his chest saying that he would be Tsuna's superhero forever and that Tsuna could tell him anything. All the while, Nana sat by Tsuna's side, giving him soft reassuring looks.

Surprisingly, instead of whining about how annoying his father was being, Tsuna actually stuck through the whole absurd speech with him and even seemed a little touched. If that bright smile that was exactly like that of Nana's on his face proved anything.

Pleased, Iemitsu had then left his room and bragged about what a good father he was.

During dinner, Tsuna actually seemed a little more cheerful. It was safe to say that Sawada Nana was practically bouncing up and down in her seat in joy the whole time.

Unfortunately, he fell back to his depressed state rather quickly the next day after returned from school. Iemitsu was shocked that his 'manly' talk only had such short effect.

Bianchi had the time of her life seeing Nana try her best to cheer up her crushed husband that was crying waterfalls about how his son had grown up and could no longer confide in them.

Tsuna however seemed more depressed than before and become even more unwilling to confide in them.

Bianchi, surprisingly, had felt worried for the brunette.

She remember the days when her little brother, Hayato had used smile at her and drag her around to play with him. She had yearned for his company. And Tsuna had known. Because he had done it for her in his stead. He gave her smiles filled with love a brother would have for an elder sister. He offered her words of concern, making sure that she came home each day and ate her meals properly, even going as far as to force himself to eat her poison cooking so as to not hurt her feelings.

Tsuna was always that kind to everyone. He was always extra protective of his friends whenever it came to the mafia and was willing to go to any lengths for someone else's sake, even if that person had once been his enemy.

And Bianchi had seen his efforts. That was the reason why she had stayed remained in Japan after Tsuna and the others returned from the future even though she could've followed Reborn; who had to leave for Italy to help the Ninth.

Unconsciously, she had began treating Tsuna like a brother to her. No longer just a replacement for Hayato as it had first began but as someone she truly wanted to protect.

Looking up at those weary eyes, she hesitantly began, unsure of whether this was a good decision, "Tsuna..."

"Hmm?" Tsuna forced out another one of his cheerful smiles at her as though trying to reassure her that everything was okay. Bianchi wanted to see his cheerful smile. Not the pained one that he forced out in order to not worry them.

"When you get back...can we have a talk?" she asked, eyes watching him carefully for his reaction.

"Sure" there it was again. That smile. She guessed that the boy had probably realized what it was that she wanted to talk to him about and had forced himself to agree for the time being.

As he turned and walked out of the door, murmuring softly that he was leaving, Bianchi, for the first time in her life, prayed to god; despite not believing in them at all; that she would be able to help the boy return back to the cheerful sky he was to everyone. Those depressing eyes was growing far to painful for them to look at.

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><p>Sawada Tsunayoshi had no idea of what he was doing.<p>

He had woken up just like any other day. Like any other day since he drifted away from his guardians.

Lifeless and Empty.

Except that there was this nagging feeling in his heart for him to go out. He had blindly followed it, allowing whatever was inside to move his body. Before he knew it, he was out of the house, walking aimlessly down the familiar path he took each day with his friends. No.. it had became the path he _used_ to take with them...

A loud bark which sounded suspiciously like one of a dog made him pause his movements. Wait.. dog?

He blinked and looked down.

"HIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He hadn't shrieked like that in weeks. He hadn't felt the need to, neither did he have the energy to do felt good. He felt.. a little..more like himself.. But.. What on earth is that?

_Oh.. so its a dog tail.._

_He's..stepping on it.. wow.. Its..kinda soft..._

_Wait. Pause. Rewind._

_.._

_Shit._

Tsuna took a few steps back and gulped nervously at the chihuahua growling at him. He faintly recalled seeing it before. Only, it had now grown bigger and much more scarier. He remembered that day. It was the first time he had met Reborn. He had thought that he was just a crazy psychotic baby that carried a gun whilst roaming the street trying to look for random idiots to include in his crazy games.

And before he knew it, he had been mocked for being afraid of a chihuahua, met a mad cosplay lover girl named Haru who eventually became infatuated with him somehow or another, gotten shot for the first time in his life and was speeding down the streets, clad in nothing but a pair of blue boxers to confess to Kyoko. That was the day he had became famous in Namimori as the boxers kid. Ever since then, his life had flew into a spiral of mess.

But..somehow, he found himself wishing for those days to return. To him, his normal life was supposed to be just spending the rest of his no-good days alone, waiting for the end of it.

However, before he knew it, normal had became having to do crazy trainings each day. Having Reborn to drill in maths into his head each all night. Going out with his friends whilst making sure that Gokudera didn't try to hurt anyone who was being 'rude' to him. Having to make sure they wouldn't start fighting and destroy something in the mean time. Seeing Yamamoto's smile which brightened up everyone's day, hearing Ryohei's extremely loud "EXTREME", getting freaked out by Mukuro(Chrome) who appeared out of nowhere, making sure that Lambo wouldn't start crying and fire the ten year bazooka, preventing I-pin from meeting Hibari and praying that he wouldn't get bitten to death.

That was what had became normal to him. And somehow.. he really missed it..

Snapping him out of his thoughts, he's eyes went wide in realization as he finally took noticed that the dog was no longer there.

Right as he was about to begin his aimless walk again, a loud barking noise caught his attention again. Only this time, it was accompanied by a frightened sound.

Despite being afraid himself, he followed the noise until he was in front of a dark alley. Taking a few, small hesitant steps forward, he was shocked to discover a little small kitten at the end of the alley.

The chihuahua from just now was now glowering at it, hissing and growling as though angry that his territory had been taken over.

Tsuna wanted to run away. He wasn't a brave person. He was afraid that to be bitten. But.. that little kitten.. reminded him of himself.. Scared.. Lonely..

Before he knew it, he had rushed forward, picking up the little kitten and cradling it close to chest.

The poor thing seemed so frightened that it instantly buried its head in Tsuna's jacket, yearning to get away from the dog.

The chihuahua remained glaring at the kitten as it released loud barks, making the little animal jump.

Tsuna knew he had to somehow get the kitten away from the chihuahua or it would never calm down.

Taking deep breaths, he gathered up his courage and sprung up, running past the dog as he dashed down the street, not caring about where he was heading to as long as it meant getting away from the scary thing. Loud barks instantly followed. Fearing that it was still chasing them, Tsuna ran with all his might, all the while keeping his arms protectively around the kitten.

As the barks finally grew distant and eventually faded away, Tsuna collapsed on the floor, slumping forward tiredly. His limbs felt like jell-o and he could barely even move his legs. He panted breathlessly, taking in oxygen as though his life had depended on it. Only when he was able to finally calm his palpitating heart, did he notice something, small, soft and moist moving over his fingers.

He blinked as he realised that the kitten was no longer in his hands. Rather, it was now next to him, licking one of his hands which had been tiredly left hanging by his sides. As though noticing his gaze, the little kitten looked up him as it tilt its head questioningly, eyes filled with worry.

Smiling fondly at how adorable it seemed, Tsuna moved his other hand up slowly, flexing it a little before he gently ruffled the little animal's tiny head. The kitten closed eyes and purred happily as Tsuna's fingers moved over its fur soothingly. As Tsuna was about to move his hand back, it leaned forward, pressing its head against Tsuna's knees, letting out a happy "Nyaan..."

How strange.. Tsuna thought as he picked it up gently, holding it close to his face. He examined it curiously. He was usually really afraid of animals. No matter what size, big small, tiny, they all scared him a lot. Even Hibird managed to freak him out once or twice. But.. This little kitten.. it didn't seem scary at all.. In fact, he felt warm around it. He felt the loneliness in his heart fade a just little as it began licking his cheek fondly.

Tsuna let out a small giggle. It felt ticklish. Pulling the little kitten away from his face, he pulled out the little bag of cookies Bianchi had passed to him.

It watched with curious eyes as Tsuna opened it. Tsuna broke off a little crumble, offering it to the little kitten. It seemed frighten by his actions and took a few steps back before leaning forward and giving it a small experimental lick. Before it proceeded to scarf the crumble and the remaining of the cookie in his hand down its throat.

Tsuna smiled as it released a soft satisfied 'Nyaa...'

Looking up, he took noticed of his surroundings for the first time.

His eyes widened just a little as he clenched his jaw.

Namimori Shrine.

This place had held memories. Tons of them. Memories that Tsuna had began to treasure alot ever since meeting his guardians. Even though some of them were really annoying and some were really scary.. They were important to him..

He remembered the fun times they had. His guardians had been the reason why he had fought so hard. They had shared a promise to have snowfights and attend festivals together again. He had been looking forward to the next chance they could have to watch fireworks together. But it turns out his guardians couldn't wait that long.

They had went on with their own lives, having their own fun with their own friends.

He didn't want to be selfish. They were just having fun. He didn't have any rights to feel upset or even jealous. As long a they were happy.. so was he.. Even if they were far away from him.. That was what he had thought. He had to be strong. He most definitely could not ask his guardians to give up what they were now considering precious for his sake. But..

He had never imagined that he would feel so .. void without them around.

_"Stop trying to act noble, Tsuna. You're not capable of being a hero."_

Reborn.. he clenched his fist tightly as tears rolled down his cheeks. If only he was here.. Reborn would surely know what to do.. Even if he was nothing but an evil sadistic baby.. He always helped

Tsuna through the tough times.. He just wished, that Reborn could get back from Italy already. He didn't care if he was going to get tortured. He wanted to see him again.

Unknowingly, he tightened his grip on the hand he placed over the kitten, making it squirm. Noticing his actions, Tsuna hurriedly released it and gave a small apologetic smile. As though reading his thoughts, it let out a cheerful meow as though saying it was alright.

Chuckling lightly, Tsuna picked up the kitten and placed it in his arms, standing up. Closing his eyes, he felt the tingly sensation from when he woke up this morning as though telling him to go somewhere.

Hesitantly, he moved his feet forward, taking slow careful steps, all the while with his eyes closed.

* * *

><p>The next thing he knew when he open his eyes, was that the Namimori Park was right before he's eyes.<p>

He remembered that the kids used to whine for him to bring them here to play at the playground at least once a week.

Their eyes held a kind of pure innocence that Tsuna wanted to protect. Even if they were kinda annoying once in a while, especially Lambo. Games, ice-cream, treats, he would do anything just to make sure that they had fun. He knew that they were all involved in the Mafia in someways. That was why he wanted to make sure they had a proper childhood. He didn't want their early years of life to be filled with bad memories because of the Mafia. He wanted for them to be able to grow up and think back about their childhood and smile.

But, right now, he couldn't protect them. Lambo and Fuuta had returned to Italy after the Ninth confronted the Bovino family and forced them to give Lambo the proper care he deserved. Fuuta had followed him, worried that Lambo would be lonely. Ipin had also followed Fong back to China. He had became less busy, and upon Tsuna's request, decided to train I-pin again. They were all upset to leave the Sawada household but Tsuna had put on a smile and promised them that he would definitely visit. He had also told them that they were welcomed to come back anytime.

Unwillingly, they had agreed. It was only after they were gone, did he realise just how much he missed them.

Reborn had then kicked him in the head and said he was an idiot for letting his family go, right before he too, left for Italy.

* * *

><p>Kokuyo Land. He stood outside the entrance wondering if Chrome and the others was eating properly, wherever they were now at.<p>

Upon returning from the future, Tsuna had began taking over some duties for the Ninth in order to prepare to become the next Vongola boss. That included, having paperwork sent to him each month to do, having to take part in important decisions and having the Ninth call him every now and then to question about his knowledge about the things going around Mafia lately.

It was troublesome. He whined alot and wailed alot about not wanting to become the Decimo but eventually he agreed. In exchange for the promise that the Ninth would get Mukuro out of Vindice. It took a few while but the Vindice had actually agreed. By the promise that the Vongola Decimo would be responsible for all of Mukuro's actions in the Mafia, that is.

After Mukuro's release, him and Tsuna had managed to form a sort of friendship. He had became someone Tsuna could trust, despite his sadistic and incomprehensible actions once in a while. Perhaps it was due to the way Tsuna had taken care of Chrome. Despite claiming that he was only getting close to him in order to take over his body, Tsuna could tell that Mukuro was somewhat beginning to trust him too.

It was the same for Chrome. She was shocked when she found out that her boss had saved Mukuro and had unknowingly began treasuring him as an important family member. The time they spent together gradually began increase. Ken and Chikusa were getting used to seeing him too and Tsuna started making visits to the Kokuyo land more oftenly.

It was fun spending time with them.

But soon after that, Mukuro had left with his group to travel around the world. Of course, Mukuro had 'jokingly' invited Tsuna with them, though Tsuna knew that he was actually dead serious. Tsuna had rejected their offer seeing as how Yamamoto and the others were in Namimori and he couldn't bear to leave them.

Besides, the idea of him traveling around the world had seemed so absurd at that time. He had never thought about leaving Namimori. He admitted though, that he actually felt tempted to agree. He should've known that his hyper intuition was warning him about his friends. But then again, it wouldn't have changed anything. His friends would eventually still have drifted apart from him.

However.. once in a while, he would wonder that if maybe he had left with them.. then perhaps he would be a little happier...

As soon as those thoughts came, he had shook them out of his mind. Yamamoto and the others were just enjoying their life and staying away from the Mafia business like he wanted them to. It wasn't their fault at all. That was what he used to convince himself.

* * *

><p>Namimori Mountain.. He remembered training here with Reborn each day. He had been forced to climb up the whole damn thing in three hellish days. It amazed him to no end that he actually still stood here alive. The fight with Xanxus was scary. So was Reborn's training. What was worst, was that this place was practically empty. No one could hear his pleas for help no matter how loud he yelled. As expected of his sadistic tutor to choose such a place.<p>

Come to think of it, they had their Arcobaleno Trial here too. He remembered Yamamoto and Ryohei's eyes on him when they were going through the trial. It had said 'trust'. They had trusted him, believed that he would definitely overcome it. Gokudera had been his support. It was reassuring, having someone by your back as you fought. He had felt confident. Because they were there for them.

But..

Would they still be in the future?

* * *

><p>Finally.. Namimori Middle School. Everything started there. This first day he met Gokudera-kun. The first experience he had with the Dying Will bullet. It was extremely embarrassed. From there, he had been shot so many times he could barely count. His relationship with Kyoko improved. He had made friends with Yamamoto and Ryohei. Met I-pin in the school rooftop when she mistook him for some other guy she was supposed to assassinate. Middle school grade 7 and 8 had been the happiest time of his life, despite the fighting which he hated terribly, his friends were always there for him.<p>

_Always.._

He felt drips of rain water splatter on his head as he clenched his fist.

_Everyone.. You were always there for me whenever I had to fight.. Yet.. Why is it that the moment everything returns to its peaceful state, you're no longer willing to be by my side?_

He stood silently under the rain with the kitten in his arms as it pressed its head comfortingly against his shirt, letting out little whimpers of worry. The rain water dripped down his face, preventing the tears rolling down his cheeks from being noticed.

* * *

><p>AN : Sorry it took longer than expected! My 'advisor' was a teeny weeny bit of lazy you see. Anyways, I'll do a little bit of summing up here.

1) In this chapter, its a week time skip from chapter 1.

2) Yamamoto, Gokudera and Ryohei are at their inter-club trip in this chapter.

3) Reborn, Lambo and Fuuta are in Italy whereas I-pin is in China with her master. Reborn; to help the ninth temporarily. He'll be back after a while. Lambo and Fuuta; Lambo was brought back to the Bovino Family and Fuuta followed him to keep him company. They left um.. Around a week after Tsuna returned from the future?

4) Bianchi is the only person left in the Sawada household aside from Nana and Iemitsu.

5) Iemitsu has retired from CEDEF . Of course, he helps them once in a while too.

6) And this chapter is around two months after the last episode of Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

That should be all.. You can always leave a review if you have any questions!

And thank you!_ MissDinosaur, Tonfa-ed , Final Syai Lunar Generation , mangopudding , Anonymous : mrs anonyme , Anonymous : Sy , Princess Marauder , AWE-some-NESS-bLaH _for your reviews. _3ls, catunacaty, Final Syai Lunar Generation, Kyurengo, lulileor, mangopudding, MissDinosaur, Princess Marauder_ for adding my story to your story alert and _3ls, Black cat-san, darklynxproductions, Lascka, mangopudding, PridieHunny, RioHime_ for adding my story to your favourite lists!

I was really happy to see my email box filling up with your reviews etc! Please continue to read this story! I hope I can receive some reviews for this chapter too~!

Ciao!


	3. Chapter 3 : The Broken Promise

_"He had lost a precious part of himself since a long time ago. All he'd wanted was for someone; his friends, to tell him that it was alright. That it was still there, within him. But none of them noticed. At least, none of the people he called 'friends'."_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - The Broken Promise<strong>

Tsuna sighed as he sat down on the little swing in the park. He felt gloomy. He had called Yamamoto and the boy had cheerfully told him that their trip was extended for another two weeks.

Tsuna could hear Gokudera shouting apologies whilst Ryohei screamed 'EXTREME' in the background; it made him a little happy for a moment before properly processed Yamamoto's words. And right before Tsuna could snap out of his shock and choke out some kind of response, Yamamoto had apologised that he had to go and once again, cheerfully said his goodbye and hung up.

How nice.

Tsuna knew had to get up on his act somehow. He could just tell from Bianchi's suspicious eyes on him each day that she was catching on. Very quickly. And they had yet to have he 'talk' he had agreed to have with her. It wouldn't be soon that she would find out everything.

Bianchi loved Gokudera. Tsuna had always knew that.

And if you would just imagine what would've happened if Bianchi found out?

1. He would get poisoned to death for complaining about the fact that her brother was having fun.

2. She would go to Gokudera and demand for an explanation, sending Gokudera's stomach into tsunamis after tsunamis.

Both of them didn't some very appealing to him at the moment.

It was either to get killed or have his friends killed. And seeing Bianchi's character, he wouldn't be shocked if she decided to kill them one and for all instead and end all the drama.

He sighed once more as he clutched the metal chains that were attached to the swings tightly. What on earth was he supposed to do anyway?

The loneliness was getting to him and he didn't want to care about anyone else. He missed his guardians. He missed them so much he wished he could just fly to them right now. But once he imagined his guardian's _friend's _looks when they saw him hanging around them, he felt crushed instantaneously.

They were having fun. It would be selfish for him to demand their return. But he really missed them...

He couldn't understand. They used to be so close. Why was it now that instead of hanging out together, him alone was sitting here, waiting for them to return? Was it something that he did? Or was he merely over exaggerating?

Groaning at incessant pounding in his head from over thinking, he massaged his fingers on his forehead shakily, hoping that they would somehow help.

_Gokudera-kun... _For once, he wished that his storm guardian would throw some dynamites at someone or shout at someone. Then, Yamamoto would try to calm him down and Hibari would get annoyed at the noise...

He moaned, now digging his fingers into his scalp. He missed them so much he could die.

The headache and the loneliness was eating his heart away...

Until it all disappeared.

His eyes widened as a warm hand touched his shoulder gently. In an instant, the headache seemed to stop. His heart seemed to regain its usual pace, pounding calmy as though he was alright. The painful thoughts had left him. All that was left was silence. The quiet serenity he had been yearning for all day.

He craned his neck in order to look behind him and was surprised to see a girl staring at him with what seemed like concern in her eyes, "Are you okay?"

She smelt sweet, he noted. It was faintly like vanilla. Soothing and calming. Almost like magic, he felt as though all his pain was being washed off.

He let out a huge breath, sliding his arms down to his side as he allowed a weak smile to slip onto his lips, "Mmm.. T-thank you.."

She gave him what seemed like a relieved smile and proceeded to place something warm and furry on his lap before sitting down on the swing next to his.

"A..aki?" he breathed out in slight surprise. The little kitten he had picked up a few days ago; now named Aki, rubbed her head against his stomach worriedly, letting out little meows of concern. The girl smiled as she moved her hand forward to pat her. Tsuna flinched a little, surprised by her sudden action but soon relaxed, realising that her intentions were purely innocent.

"It was because she came to me worriedly that I noticed you. What a cute kitten. She must love you a lot to get so worried..." she spoke with a soft giggle, fingers moving to ruffle Aki behind her ears.

As Tsuna processed her words, he's eyes softened at Aki. He too, moved his hands up and began to gently smooth its fur down. Almost instantly, Aki leaned into his touch and purred happily.

The girl gave a light giggle at the scene, her eyes pausing as she watched the brunette for a while. Oblivious to her gaze, Tsuna continued his actions with Aki, drifting away in his thoughts. Come to think of it, Gokudera had a cat for his box weapon didn't he? Maybe he could get Uri to meet Aki-

Bitterness washed over him at the thought of it. Oh yeah.. His friends were too busy.. Even if he told them, they wouldn't have the time either...

With a sigh, he picked Aki up and raised her to his face, meeting eyes with her. _'I guess its just you and me.. huh?'_

As though hearing his thoughts, Aki released a long, "Nyaaaaa."

Tsuna chuckled, placing her back down on his lap as he began patting her all over again, unaware of the girl who had been watching hm the whole time, eyes thoughtful.

Standing up with a smile, she patted imaginary dust off herself and offered a hand to Tsuna.

A flash of surprise appeared in his eyes as he stared at her hand. She chuckled at him "Hey, are you free now?"

"Eh?"

She smiled, "If you follow me, I'll show you something good."

* * *

><p>"U-um.. Are we there yet?"<p>

"Nope~!"

"I-I see..."

The girl turned around to face him with a small blink before she smiled as took something out of her pocket and shoving it in his mouth. She gave herself a little satisfied nod and spun around, continuing her walk as though noting happened. Tsuna blinked as he pulled out the little plastic stick stuck into his mouth.

_'A lollipop? It taste like blueberry...'_

It was flat, dark blue and shaped like a star. Somehow, the action seemed farmiliar to him but he couldn't remember who it was that reminded him of her...

"Are you coming?" her voiced called to him. His head snapped up in surprised as he realised that she was already far ahead of him, watching him with a smile. He quickly ran forward, slowing down a few steps behind her, making sure that little Aki who was in his arm wouldn't fall off.

Tsuna was following a random girl he met around even though he had no idea who she was. He had readily accepting her request for him to follow her. There wasn't any reason for it. He just felt like it.

Perhaps it was due to being alone for so long and having to endure not having his friends around. He'd wanted to do something because _he wanted to _and not because it would make other people happy or make them reassured that he was okay.

Part of it may have been because of the girl.

Oddly enough, when he was with her, he could feel his heart swelling with warmth.

It greatly resembled the feeling he would have as a child whenever he came home from a day full of bullying and his mom would gently sooth him to sleep after taking care of his injuries; albeit a little different.

It was more..warm.. And it made his heart speed up for some reason.

But he liked the feeling.

He watched her from the corner of his eyes in fascination. In any person's view, she was simply normal. She had some not-so japanese features though. Her nose, he noted, was slightly sharper than a normal Japanese but wasn't really that noticeable. Her skin was also slightly pale, which reminded him a little of Gokudera. He wondered if she was actually a Japanese.. She wore a purple plaid hoodie with the sleeves folded up to her elbow with a pair of denim shorts. Multiple purple bracelets; beads, strings, metal ones, were hanging down her wrists.

She was pretty, but she didn't stand out very much. She was one of those people that people on the streets may stop for just a second to glance at her before shrugging and continuing on their way.

However, if you looked closely, you'd notice that she was actually very attractive. Her blue eyes were bright, filled with mischief and a hint of matureness. Her long blonde hair flowed all the way down to her hip, framing her face perfectly.

She reminded him of Reborn in someways. Reborn was one of the most annoying people ever.

Mischievous.

He was always thinking of ways to torture Tsuna. Every single day. But he was also one of the people that Tsuna trusted the most. He just couldn't imagine a life without Reborn anymore. He'd used to complain about Reborn barging into his life; in fact, he still does, but truth to be told, he was actually glad to have met Reborn. Of course, Mafia on the and, was a completely different matter.

Despite so, she was quite very different from anyone he'd met. Or the kinds of people he usually met. She was normal.

So normal that she seemed special in his eyes.

She had a kind of childlike innocence and mischief in her eyes which greatly resembled that of a child. She didn't seem like an assassin or a hitwoman but simply a normal girl. She didn't have the weird kinds of personality people he met had either.

She was just really.. _normal._

It felt good. To be able to be around someone like that.

Gokudera, Yamamoto and the others.. They were different. All unique in their own way. He felt out of place when he as with them. They were popular, charismatic and attracted a lot of people around them, whereas he, was a mere Dame-Tsuna.

He wondered if they'd ever noticed how self-conscious he felt whenever they went out together. Of course, he enjoyed going out with them. They were his friends. But sometimes, just sometimes, he wished that they would notice. He wished that they could understand how he felt and perhaps, consider his feelings before they acted. Instead of him having to let them have their way, he just wished that for once, maybe he could feel selfish enough to demand for them to let him have his way and tell them how he felt.

But being around this girl, for once he could relish the feeling of being calm and relaxed. He didn't have to put up a facade and force himself to look happy as though he wasn't actually afraid that his friends might end up creating some trouble like exploding someone or destroying some buildings. It was only then, did he noticed how much he missed being normal.

_He'd been too caught up in the loneliness that he hadn't noticed how much easier it was to breathe right now in the past few weeks. _

* * *

><p>"We're here!" the girl announced cheerfully, snapping him out of his thoughts.<p>

He blinked in surprise, realizing that the girl was looking past him. Turning around in curiosity, he briefly wondered what was it that she had wanted to show him when he felt all his thoughts literally blown away. He barely registered Aki's movement when she jumped down his arm and decided to explore around with cheerful meows.

He stared at the scenery in front of him in shock. He hadn't noticed when, but in the midst of his thoughts, they had arrived at some kind of hill. He stood atop of it with her beaming and him, jaw fallen.

It was already in the evening and he sun was gradually moving down the now, bright orange stained sky.

This scenery. He tried to speak but the words were stuck in his throat out of shock.

He briefly recalled passing by this little hill on the way home each day with his guardians. It had became a habit for them to take the long way so that they'd have more time to spend around each other.

But he didn't remember it being this beautiful!

He couldn't believe that he had actually been ignorant to this fact all this while! How could he have possibly missed it? He passed by it every single day!

"You know.." the girl began with a smile, once again interrupting his thoughts, "Sometimes, we get too caught up in other people's feelings. Our friends and family members are people whom we give our shoulders to rely on. But once in awhile, we forget that we ourselves can rely on them too. We live each day worrying for our friends and ourselves. Gradually, we begin to miss the little beautiful things in life and before you know it, our life revolves around other people's life."

Tsuna blinked as he listened to her. Was it like that?

Had he became far too thankful for the fact that he was finally not living a Dame life that he had unknowingly began trying to please all his friends just to quieten down the little voice in his heart that constantly reminded him that they might just leave him for other people any time?

Perhaps.

"But.. Everyone trusts me so much. I don't know when it started, but at some point of time, they began to gaze at me with eyes that said that they trust me and believed that I would always be there for them no matter what. How can I betray such trust that they have in me?" Tsuna asked with a bitter smile. He was lying to himself. He had noticed it a long time ago. Call it Vongola's Hyper Intuition or whatever but he knew.

When he'd won against Xanxus, he could just sense it fade a little. The competitiveness spirit Gokudera and Yamamoto had. They weren't the type to be looked down on. They despised being looked down on. That was the reason why Yamamoto had decided to fight as his rain guardian in the first place because he'd wanted to prove to Squalo that he wasn't a kid.

But after the Varia fight, their thinking began to change. They began to rely on Tsuna, thinking that Tsuna would deal with whatever problems they face.

Originally, he had simply thought that he was over-thinking it.

But the Future battle proved him right. During Yamamoto's first fight against Genkishi and Gokudera's fight against Cuppuccino, both of them had been over confident. Yamamoto had lost to Genkishi and Gokudera allowed the arrogance from winning against Cuppaccino harm Ryohei during the fight with Gamma.

Tsuna had won Xanxus, proving himself to be much stronger that any of them and secretly in their hearts, despite the amount of training they'd had, their thinking had became, _I definitely won't die. Tsuna wouldn't let me._

And with that thought, they easily dashed to the front of the battlefield thinking that Tsuna would help them if they were to get into trouble. They were proved wrong.

Thankfully, after that, they learnt their lessons and changed.

Until they returned to the past. They became relaxed. The simply minded thinking of their had returned. Tsuna could just see in their eyes. Even Ryohei's extremeness seemed to had died down a little because he believed that his little brother was the most extreme of them all and that he could always count on him in times of need.

It scared him. He knew the reason why they changed. It was because of him. He didn't know how to stop the change. But what he did know, was that if he could not stop their change, he was going to have to protect them himself by making sure to pay attention around them at all times because they could jolly well throw themselves for free to death if they were to continue living with such simply minded ideas.

Because unlike them, the fights up till now had only showed him one thing. And it was that no matter how strong they seemed, their lives could end with just a snap of someone's fingers.

He gained the realisation that he had to protect his guardian some how or another a week after they returned from the past. He'd unknowingly placed up his guards. His senses were constantly on alert. He paid attention to every single thing. And it was only then, did he notice how fragile his guardians lives truly were. Assassination attempts. It wasn't often but he'd catch them in the act three times after the returning from the future already. Even the little kids were targeted once.

And they were completely oblivious to it. They hadn't even noticed when Tsuna went into hyper dying will mode in front of them for a plain simple 5 seconds to catch the flying poisoned needles that were aimed towards them. Neither did they notice they nervous and feared look Tsuna had when he excused himself to the 'toilet' so that he could go knock his assassins. Simply because they were too busy talking/fighting.

He was frightened. Frightened for their lives. Much more when his guardians began drifting away from him but what could he do?

He could only continue to stay near them yet not too far away from them during school hours so that he could make sure no one laid a hand on them. He was tired. Emotionally and physically. But there was nothing he could do. Because they were his _important _friends.

He hadn't noticed when, but he had began living a life filled with nothing but fear. He had began to forget about the few hours he'd spent by himself, relaxing on the grass and throwing away his troubles to the sky each day before he had met them.

"A few years ago, right before I met my friends, I remember that I once promised myself," he began speaking unknowingly, "The feeling of the wind, the comfortable warmth I'd had lying on the ground without anyone to disturb. At that time, I was lonely. But I had no troubles. I was contented to be by myself. I'd swore to myself not to forget those feelings.. Because even though I had a horrible life, among the horrible life, I could pick out the little beautiful things that I didn't want to give up by wasting my life away and drowning myself in unhappiness. But, I broke that promise I made to myself. I had allowed myself to slip away from the true me. The current me is simply nothing but and emotional wreck that spends each day either worrying for his friend's safety or being trapped in self-pity for himself because no one is there for him. The real me had stayed strong even though he had no friends because he knew that just because he had no friends doesn't mean that he could smile and have fun like any other person."

The girl listened with a understanding look. Despite her confusion in some of his words, she decided not to question him because she knew that it was always easier for one to speak out their troubles to someone whom didn't know them. She'd wanted to help him. Not to dig out all the information about him for her own self-satisfication.

"I wonder when.. did I begin losing that part me?" Tsuna finished, the same bitter smile on his lips.

"Hmm... Truth to be told, I'm not sure what you're talking about at all..." the girl spoke. Tsuna's face fell. He should have known. He'd unknowingly began spilling out everything to someone he didn't even know. How could he expect that someone to understand him?

"But, if you'd like, why don't find him together?" she finished with a grin, catching him by surprise.

"Eh?"

She giggled, "I'm referring to your true self."

Tsuna seemed truly surprised by her words but remained looking pained, "Theres no way to find him.. I'd already lost him..."

"That's not true!"

He looked up at her, shocked by her sudden outburst. She gave him a glare, though it seemed more like a pout to him, "Theres no way it would be lost!"

"B-but-"

"No buts! I'm sure of it!" she leaned forward and tapped his chest gently, smiling confidently, "Its in here. Perhaps somewhere deep in your heart but its definitely there!"

"R-really?"

He didn't know what he was thinking, asking something like that. He should have been sure that he had lost the true him already. But he found himself yearning for her answer..

"Un!" she nodded with a beaming smile, "It's just hiding because it's afraid that you don't want him anymore!"

He looked down and his hands, clenching and unclenching his fist hesitantly.

_"It's just hiding because it's afraid that you don't want him anymore!"_

If that was true... He clenched his fist tightly.

Looking up at the girl, determined, he spoke with an unwavering voice for once since the past few weeks, "I.. I want to find it!"

She smiled at him, eyes promising him that they would do so,

_ "Then we'll go and find it!"_

* * *

><p>An : Sorry for the late update! It took me a while before I could finally decide how I wanted to story to go! Please leave a review! Do you like the new character? Do you find her in any way, Marysue-ish? I hope not! And, what do you think about Tsuna's feelings in the story? I hope I get reviews... ^^

And, I'll reply to your reviews here, since I'm not sure if I managed to properly reply to everyone's.

**Princess Marauder : Thank you! I'm not actually very confident of my writing skills and your words practically made my day!**

**Hopelesslyhope : Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!**

**Final Syai Lunar Generation : :D :D FYI , the kitten; Aki; has grey fur! She's actually a Scottish Fold Kitten! I love those breed of cats! They're so cute! Her eyes are grey too! And thanks for saying it was worth it! **

**akira45 : Thanks for reviewing! Don't worry, the plot will lighten up abit from now. I'll still include angsty moments every now and then though!**

**AWE-some-NESS-bLaH : Thank you! I was in school when I received your review and I was like 'OMG! I'M SO HAPPY!'**

**jiake97 : Lol.. Yeah, heres your update. :D**

**mangopudding : Ehehe! Aki's really cute! Even though she's born from my imagination, I still squeal whenever I read the parts with her in it!**

**MissDinosaur : Thanks for reviewing! The iemitsu-tsuna scene was written with the help of my 'advisor'! It was originally different but she gave me some advice and I changed it! I'll be sure to tell her about your praises! Thank you! **

I hope you guys would continue to read and review! Because reviews really mean the world to me! Please review!

I Love y'all!

P.S I'll be a little busy from now onwards! But I'll try to update every 1 or two weeks!

Ciao!


	4. Author's note

Dear Readers,

Right. Sorry for the long wait. My exams have finally ended, which means updates shall begin very soon ^^

Thank you to those who waited patiently, no thank you to those who left vulgar messages for me.

I'll keep this short, some of my stories shall be updated as per normal, some shall be edited in a some parts, while some while be given up for adoption.

As such, I'll combine everything and leave on my profile. Please go and read it.

I'm aware of some who hate author's notes like this one, but if don't , you probably won't get whats going to happen. So I'll be very thankful if you do.

Autore Raita

P.S sorry for the long wait. This note shall be taken down in 3 days.


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